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宿舍里的暴笑事件

Author Zhou Renjian Create@ 2004-12-14 22:36
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发信人: herowang (LastTango 最后的探戈), 信区: joke                                                                    
标  题: 宿舍里的暴笑事件zz                                                                                             
发信站: 饮水思源 (2004年12月13日16:30:01 星期一)                                                                       


一宿舍或三五人,或七八人,有南来的,有北下的,鱼龙混杂,秋色难分。在这七尺地盘                                         
上,大家一起吃喝拉撒,偶尔斗嘴打闹,时常嬉笑怒骂,暴笑事件自然层出不穷,不信你                                         
瞧——                                                                                                                 
龙阿七:蛋糕朝谁脸上砸                                                                                                 
班里一男生过生日,女生阿7穿着男式衬衫趁着夜色偷偷溜进去庆祝。正切蛋糕的当儿,凶                                        
神恶煞的管理员老李忽然查房,门一推开阿7就傻了,幸好一男生眼急手快,掀起蛋糕毫不                                        
留情地就朝阿7脸上砸去!                                                                                                
  老李瞧着阿7面目狰狞的样子,又瞅了瞅阿7身上的男式衬衫,还挺善意地提醒了一句                                         
:“不要玩得太过火,衣服弄脏了还得自己洗嘛!”然后转身离开。事后,阿7责怪那男生                                        
,说把蛋糕朝老李脸上砸,她趁机溜走不就行了吗?男生一脸委屈地说道:“你不知道,                                         
老李那厮生猛得很,常叫我们给他洗衣服,我哪敢把他衣裳弄脏呀?”                                                         
竹韵AND maomao7:借车的贼                                                                                              
大学里丢自行车情况特严重,新车眨眼就没,不过有时运气好,丢失的自行车隔几天又会                                         
冒出来。一日,同宿舍小静新买了一辆变速车,她逢人便炫耀说:“这车我上了最新式的                                         
锁!”第二天,小静上晚自习回,一副萎靡不振的样子,手里还捏了一张纸条,上面写着                                         
:别当这儿没高手,车我借走了,过几天还你!                                                                             
  不几日,那贼真的把车给还回来了,小静很是高兴,但她担心车被再次“借”走。遂                                         
买了十把大锁,把车子五花大绑地锁了个牢实,还给贼贴了张纸条:看你还怎么“借”!                                         
次日早晨小静下楼的时候,发现车上多了五把锁,锁上还有一张纸条:看你还怎么骑!                                           
                                                                                                                       
我的葡萄牙:手套事故                                                                                                   
我读大三的时候和一个同学去女生宿舍玩,当时是冬天,女孩子的内衣内裤都晾在屋里,                                         
还有一个把内衣内裤丢在床上,见了我们进去也不收拾。好在我们都是老战士了,对此也                                         
没什么感觉。进门后,我那同学就把手套放到床上,走的时候也没看,随手就拿了一个东                                         
西装到口袋直接去教室上课。刚出宿舍门,觉得手很冷,于是伸手进口袋去拿手套,拿出                                         
来戴了半天也没有戴上,低头一瞧,果然是那玩意,一个女生的内裤!其时,正好一大帮                                         
plmm从身边走过,均含笑望着我们!                                                                                       
佚名:女生宿舍,男生请勿进                                                                                             
S大学一女生宿舍。为防止男生误入,门卫阿姨在宿舍门上用粉笔写道:女生宿舍,男生请                                        
勿进。几天后,发觉“勿”字被擦去。于是阿姨将它改为:女生宿舍,男同志请止步。 未                                        
料,两天后,有女生发现,“止”字被好事者添了一笔,变成“男同志请正步”。阿姨气                                         
愤地将之改为“男同志止步”,第二天早上,阿姨唠叨着说她气得血压升高,一看,原来                                         
“止”字又被减了一笔:“女生宿舍,男同志上!”众女生哗然,阿姨决定战斗到底。于                                         
是又写道:此乃女生宿舍,男的一律免进!!!阿姨颇为得意这一杰作,女生们也称这回                                         
没戏了。然而,当日下午,上完课回宿舍,忽听几个女生惊声尖笑,冲到门前,一行字赫                                         
然在目:此乃女生宿舍,男的一律免票进入!                                                                               
羚子:满天花板都是星星                                                                                                 
某日,舍友阿七醉酒归,神志颇清,因为他至少独自爬到了上铺。阿七躺在上铺咪眼斜看                                         
,猛然站起身来,拉着灯泡大叫道:“我摘到月亮了!”一同学见此情况,指着天花板一                                         
本正经地问道:“这是什么?”阿七答曰:“真TMD笨,连星空都不知道,没看见吗,还有                                        
这么多星星呢!”大家遂睁大了眼睛满世界找星星,星星没找着,倒发现一群苍蝇正爬在                                         
天花板上酣睡。                                                                                                         
veinMM:V老师什么没见过                                                                                                
我从美术教育专业毕业后,去了一私立中学当教师,兼任一个班的见习班主任。学校规定                                         
班主任晚上要查房,作为女老师,也只得服从学校的规定。一夏日,快熄灯了,我见一男                                         
生寝室里面还震天价响,我大怒,遂风风火火赶了过去。刚进门,几个小猴子正穿着无颜                                         
六色的裤叉,见了我就慌忙躲藏,我见状,挥手宽慰道:“不要紧的,V老师什么没见过!                                        
”这帮小猴一听,点头道:“原来V老师什么都见过呀?”我面红倒下!                                                        
                                                                                                                       
                                                                                                                       
  与爱无关:一顿饭教坏一只狗                                                                                         
                                                                                                                       
  下铺买回一只小狗,活泼可爱,取名阿布。有一阵,下铺生活拮据,阿布也只好跟着                                         
饿肚子。见小狗阿布日渐消瘦,下铺想出一条妙计,在狗狗脖子上挂了一牌子,放于男生                                         
宿舍门口,上写:因本人手头拮据,阿布在此暂住一晚,要求不高,残汤剩饭均可。第二                                         
天,阿布果然吃得圆鼓鼓地回来了,牌子被改为:本寝室也只可暂住一夜,望美女再买口                                         
红时顾及阿布感受。不久后,下铺带阿布出去晒太阳,阿布见了那帮男生立刻跑上前去和                                         
他们乐成一团,把主人抛在一边!下铺回来后伤心欲绝,把狗狗暴打一顿,叹息道:“你                                         
真不是东西,才吃了人家一顿饭,就已经学坏了!”                                                                         
                                                                                                                       
                                                                                                                       
  辉辉狼:洗脚水                                                                                                     

  偶们宿舍的王某和孙某都特别懒,懒得连洗脚水都不愿意打。每天晚上,他们就等着                                         
别人洗完脸以后,把人家的用过的洗脸水端过来洗脚。                                                                       
  一天晚上,王某下晚自习回来,发现某兄弟盆子里的水还热着呢,以为是人家刚用过                                         
的洗脸水。于是,王某立刻脱掉鞋子,把脚放进去美美地洗了起来。不一会儿,孙某回来                                         
看见王某正在洗脚,说道:“靠,这是胖子用过的热水,我刚用它洗过脚你又来洗脚,真                                         
是禽兽不如!!”话音刚落,从外面跑步回来的胖子吼道:“TMD,是哪个把我洗过内裤的                                        
热水都端走了?”孙某倒,王某翻。                                                                                       
                                                                                                                       
                                                                                                                       
  佚名:遭遇关怀                                                                                                     

  晚自习回来,已是深夜10点钟了,天很冷。忽然有人敲门,开门一看,原来是系主任                                         
兼学生处处长。这领导平时工作很忙,极少到学生宿舍来,今天这么晚了,他还亲自查房                                         
,特让我们感动,我忙说道:“老师……您好!”系主任四下看看,说道:“天冷了,晚                                         
上窗户要关好!”然后他又走到我们的床铺前掀开看看,说道:“晚上降温,被子要盖严                                         
!”“谢谢您的关心!”系主任慈父般的关怀让我们受宠若惊。系主任走后,对门宿舍的                                         
同学来借开水,问我们:“老师来查被子了没有?”“查什么被子?”“你们不知道啊?                                         
今天一个新生晒被子,被套被人偷了,学生处正在调查呢!”                                                                 
                                                                                                                       
                                                                                                                       
  平行angel:陕西靓妹                                                                                                

  我们宿舍楼正对面的家属楼上,不知何时搬来一靓妹,此靓妹一口陕西话,非常泼辣                                         
,竟敢主动和我们搭话,喜得全楼男生乐不可支。每天晚上上完晚自习,便有成群“饿狼                                         
”狂奔而回,然后开窗大喊:“Baby!妹妹!阿妹!”我们这样叫喊的时候,那靓妹经常                                         
时不时娇滴滴地回应几声,搞得大家兴致颇高。有一天深夜,楼下有人学着电影《有话好                                         
好说》里的对白大声喊道:“安红,安红,俺想你!”那靓妹被吵醒了,本想她肯定会发                                         
一阵骚,没想到靓妹用陕西话愤怒地骂道:“想你妈的头,想得俺睡不着觉!”                                                 
                                                                                                                       
                                                                                                                       
  Tinayoyo99:宿舍梦话                                                                                               

  革命型梦话一:“大不了老子上山打游击去!”这是我们隔壁宿舍一个很勤奋的同学                                         
半夜突然吼出来的!                                                                                                     
  革命型梦话二:一个平时在寝室受尽凌辱的男生,半夜喊出一句:“坦克来拉!快扔                                         
炸弹炸死他们!”                                                                                                       
  需求型梦话:宿舍里一个女孩子半夜突然说出:“两块面包,两个帅哥!”睡了一会                                         
又补充道:“面包变质了,帅哥不见了!”                                                                                 
  广告型梦话:一同学说梦话:“小姐请问你叫什么?”然后自己换了一女声回答:“                                         
我叫小丽!”                                                                                                           
  行动型梦话:军训某一天,偶值班,半夜里听见一个同学说了一句:“向左转!”紧                                         
接着一声巨响,那家伙从上铺砸了下来!                                                                                   
  爱国型梦话:一地理系的同学睡到半夜,吼了一声:“我登上月球了,China!”俨然                                        
                                                                                                                       
做人要厚道,转载请注明来自猫扑(mop.com)                                                                                
                                                                                                                       
--                                                                                                                     
那天很冷 下着雪,你一个人站在山顶很孤独,你的手一直在接着雪,我跑去山顶 你看着我                                       
 你跟我说,这个世界没有不可能的事,我跟你说,有你的世界就会有奇迹                                                      
                                                                                                                       
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※ 来源:·饮水思源 bbs.sjtu.edu.cn·[FROM: 211.80.90.55]                                                               

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